To some people infrequent sex is not a problem. Their reaction may be to shrug and ask, “So what?” And if they both agree, that’s their business. But for most couples the fact that you haven’t been intimate for six months is not quite the same as, say, the fact that you haven’t gone out to a movie together since last New Year.
A relationship doesn’t grow frayed and testy from a lack of trailblazing. But it may well wither from a lack of sex – because “Sex is not just sex,” says Bernie Zibergeld, sex therapist and author of ‘The New Male Sexuality.’ “It’s a major glue that keeps two people together.”
Indeed, studies of happy marriages find a lot of happy moments behind closed doors. “A good sex life, however a couple defines that, is at he heart of a good marriage,” writes clinical psychologist Judith Wallerstein in her book ‘The good marriage: How and why love lasts.’ Wallerstein continues, “There is no better antidote to the pressures of living than a loving sex life.”
Sounds wonderful…But for many men and women it’s easier said than done. Most sex therapists recognize that it’s difficult for couples to get unstuck from a sexual slump. But the good news is that when couples do take the time and effort to rediscover their sexual attraction, they are in for a pleasant surprise. The best sex say experts, happens between couples who have been together for a long time.
Keep the following in mind as you begin to rekindle flame…
Make it an important part of you life.
If necessary schedule a time for it. Spontaneity is desirable but for the busy lives that couples lead today, you might find it necessary to make an appointment with sex.
Bring romance back in your life. The first step in this direction is to plan getaways together, away from the stressful situations of your life.
Stop being a perfectionist. Do not think in extremes of, “Perfect sex or No sex.” Build up on what is right in your physical intimacy rather than focusing your frustrations on what is wrong.
A relationship doesn’t grow frayed and testy from a lack of trailblazing. But it may well wither from a lack of sex – because “Sex is not just sex,” says Bernie Zibergeld, sex therapist and author of ‘The New Male Sexuality.’ “It’s a major glue that keeps two people together.”
Indeed, studies of happy marriages find a lot of happy moments behind closed doors. “A good sex life, however a couple defines that, is at he heart of a good marriage,” writes clinical psychologist Judith Wallerstein in her book ‘The good marriage: How and why love lasts.’ Wallerstein continues, “There is no better antidote to the pressures of living than a loving sex life.”
Sounds wonderful…But for many men and women it’s easier said than done. Most sex therapists recognize that it’s difficult for couples to get unstuck from a sexual slump. But the good news is that when couples do take the time and effort to rediscover their sexual attraction, they are in for a pleasant surprise. The best sex say experts, happens between couples who have been together for a long time.
Keep the following in mind as you begin to rekindle flame…
Make it an important part of you life.
If necessary schedule a time for it. Spontaneity is desirable but for the busy lives that couples lead today, you might find it necessary to make an appointment with sex.
Bring romance back in your life. The first step in this direction is to plan getaways together, away from the stressful situations of your life.
Stop being a perfectionist. Do not think in extremes of, “Perfect sex or No sex.” Build up on what is right in your physical intimacy rather than focusing your frustrations on what is wrong.
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